Just another day.

Babala: Sobrang EMO. ewwwww.. lol




When I was a kid, October 09 was a very significant date for me. I grew up thinking that all my dreams and wishes come true on this day, every year. I feel like every October 09 comes, Daddy God and all the angels smile at me. I feel like they shower me with good vibes and blessings on this day only.

But as time pass, I slowly realize that dreams are but pinches of reality caught in the magic swirl of playful thoughts in my head. Dreams slowly turn to false hope and wishes turn to what-if's and if-only's. I did not realize it but I already started killing the kid in me.



You see me smiling, laughing my ass out, cracking jokes like I have a bagful, but you don't see the baggage I keep everyday. I do this not to pretend but to convince myself that I'm not affected. Everyday is a battle, with less support and understanding from people you thought they have your back. That's why I contemplate and puff this deadly smoke of volatile pleasure.



This year wasn't any different. Months before this day come, another set of "dreams" and "wishes" rush my mind. Sometimes, I fall out of energy thinking of the excitement this day might bring. But as always, I fail.


I knew this would happen. But I went ahead of myself and thought positively. My head flew out of my wits. Planned my reunion with the beach and have my first mark on my body. I thought, 'this day, everything will go as planned.' But it didn't.

Instead, it went into the abyss and back. I stood up in front of the candle yard on the church, thinking that this day could not get any worst. A feel a dark cloud creeping into my eyes ready to pour into dry stricken land. But I felt a tug of positive energy, a ray of light radiating warming energy shooing the clouds away and reassuring eyes that tell me everything will be okay because I'm here. I smiled back, hugged my angel and went forward. Aqui saved my day.


The thought of having a piece of me in an angel warms my heart. Aqui always saves my day. I sometimes think of giving up and walking away from all the chaos of the world but as always Aqui saves my day. He always does and I guess he'll always will.


As I look back, I thank Daddy Jess for this day. The day when reality slaps me like hell but leaves a small spot for dreams to come true. I thank Daddy Jess for another year, another year to wander, live life and continue with my adventures. I don't wish material gifts but lessons. That's why I thank him for giving me more opportunities to grow and improve myself. I just hope he'd go easy on the trials. I thank him for the gift of family, of friendship, of life.


October 09 will still be a day to look forward but the enthusiasm is not that big anymore. I think I grew out on all the 'dreams' already. I guess that's what happens when you grow of age. You become tired of all the games. I know the kid in me hasn't grown up yet. He's still there. I wish he's there.